Traditional Khmer Wedding (Part IV)​ –Pairing Ceremon

After the groom’s procession in Part I, the presentation of dowry in Part II and hair cutting in Part III, now comes the Pairing Ceremony (Phtem). Phtem is the last event of the day and one of the most important ceremonies.

All are invited through the microphone by the matchmaker to come around the ceremonial platform to start the pairing ceremony. The groom comes first and sits behind a golden pillow. The traditional music starts to play a tune called Phat Cheay and the singer sings, a melody inviting the bride who is in her room to prepare and come for the pairing ceremony. It takes about five minutes to sing. The bride appears from the curtain, led by a distinguished female relative, followed by her bridesmaids, to the pairing ceremony, sitting beside the groom.

 It is recommended that only married couples are permitted to sit around the bride and groom. The pure bee-wax candles are burnt as sacred flame and given to people in the circle. They recite the blessings and the candles are rotated from right to left 7 times. Family members who receive the candles in their right hand and motion their left hand over the flame to guide the smoke of the sacred flame over the bride and groom. The candles with flame represent anger which the couple should avoid as it can disrupt the marriage relationship. The smoke of the flame, however, is sacred enough to protect them from all evils if they are sincerely committed to each other. In the end of 7 rounds of candle movement, the leader collects the 7 burned candles and bring the betel leaves to distinguish the burned candles. He motions the betel leaves to the bride and the groom and ask both of them to smell the smoke as a sign of blessings.

Well comes the knot tying ceremony. Khmer traditional weddings observe the knot tying as one of the most important occasions, but unlike what the name implies, it is the guests who tie the knots, not the bride and groom. The bride and the groom are asked to bend down, putting their hands over the pillow. Firstly, parents of the bride and the groom are invited to tie the left and right wrists with the red blessing strings. There the praises and well-wishes of happiness, good health, success, prosperity, and long-lasting love are acknowledged and witnessed by the loud sound of the gong and joyful cheer. Then the next of kin take their role to do so. This is also followed by Khmer or US currencies to tie as gift to the bride and groom. The ceremony concludes with a shower of palm flowers thrown over the new couple.

 Followed by the  wrist tying, a song entitled Bai Khon Chang Dai is sung with the following meaning: “We tie, we tie three strings to each wrist of our children. We wish for true happiness and success to this couple, who will always be together like wet grass seeds. We tie your left wrist to make you remember your parents. We tie your right wrist to make you carry on the family lineage and traditions.”

The knots are traditionally required to wear for three days afterwards to preserve the good luck. This ceremony has customarily been considered an ideal opportunity to take a picture of each guest in attendance with the new couple. 

 After the knot tying, the bride and the groom are allowed to leave the place and go to the room while the groom holds the cloth tail of the bride.

 Read why the groom holds the cloth tail:

 From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Preah Thong (Kaundinya I) and Neang Neak (Soma) are symbolic personas in Khmer culture. They are thought to have founded the pre-Angkorian state of Funan. Much of Khmer wedding customs can be traced back to the marriage of Preah Thong and Neang Neak.
According to reports by two Chinese envoys, Kang Tai and Chu Ying, the state of Funan was established by an Indian Brahmin named Kaundinya. In the 1st century CE (source?), Kaundinya was given instruction in a dream to take a magic bow from a temple and defeat a Naga princess named Soma (Chinese: Liu Ye, “Willow Leaf”), the daughter of the king of the Naga. She later married Kaundinya (chin. Hun Tien) and their lineage became the royal dynasty of Funan. Kaundinya later built a capital, and changed the name of the country to 'Kambuja'. ^[1] In reality, the myth has Indian origins: the Pallavas of South India had adopted this genealogy to explain their dynastic origins, for the first Pallava ruler of Kanchipuram was supposed to be the son of a Chola king and a naga princess. The legend somehow reached Cambodia, where it was adopted by the Funan kings to explain their dynastic origins, and a legendary first King Kaundinya came into being.